


...before those hands pulled me from the earth

by philippcarlyle



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Philip is a sweetheart, Tumblr Prompt, a lot of dialogue as always, but really it's just cute, it didn't get tooo clingy but i like it anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 13:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13764900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philippcarlyle/pseuds/philippcarlyle
Summary: prompt: " I really want to see something where Philip is insanely clinging to Phineas after the fire incident and he gets scared whenever they use fire in the act, but Phineas finds his clinginess adorable."It is adorable and Phil has issues, but that's okay.





	...before those hands pulled me from the earth

**Author's Note:**

> title from Hozier "Like Real People Do"
> 
> (unbeta'ed, I'm not a native speaker)
> 
> Enjoy!

_I had a thought, dear_  
_However scary_  
_About that night_

_The bugs and the dirt  
_

_..._

_Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips  
We should just kiss like real people do_

 

* * *

 

1.

“Hey, have you seen P.T.?”, Philip asks as he enters the tent. The troupe prepares for tonight’s show, the atmosphere is hectic and the air is filled with whispers, laughter and sand particles.

Jeremy, the elephant-skinned man shakes his head and makes his way over to Constantine and Lettie. Neither of them is helpful. Great. Philip walks around the pedestals for the animals and passes more people. When he nearly gives up – on finding him, not on looking for him – the show man suddenly appears seemingly out of thin air. Thank God.

“Oh, Phil! Good to see you here.”, he grins and tilts his cane towards Philip. The younger man stares at him in disbelief for a moment.

“You know this is my circus too, right? Don’t act so surprised. Also, I was looking for you.”

“Of course I know, come on then.”, P.T. dismisses the offended tone. He strides through the tent’s backstage area, just where Philip came from mere seconds ago. Philip has to quicken his pace to keep up with the energetic man. At least he can’t lose sight of him, with the bright red coat. Although Philip is sure, he would recognize the man wherever with more discreet clothes just as well.

“What did you want?”, the ringmaster asks while they make their way to the entrance of the tent.

“Uhm...”, Philip mutters. He buries his hands in his coat pockets and stares ahead, not looking at the tall man. Until he does. He has to reassure his mind that he is still there. Still alive, still joking. His hands twitch and for a frightening moment, he tastes ash.

“Yeah?”, P.T. stops to meet Philips anxious gaze.

“I don’t know, haha.”, Philip waves it off and manages an awkward laugh. P.T.’s mouth twitches and Philip can see the smirk forming. He shakes his head and simply pats the show mans shoulder.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry.”, he says and releases a breath, when P.T. nods. He doesn’t want him to be concerned about non-existent issues.

 

2.

“Good morning, Philip!”, Charles greets him. Philip replies friendly but distracted. He told the show man yesterday he would come over to go over some business questions. Then he fell asleep at home. He woke up way too early and immediately rushed over to the circus.

“Is P.T. here?”, he asks the crowd, hoping one might know. Those who heard him, shake their heads. Anne approaches him, a long jacket wrapped around her slim body. Philip smiles at her.

“I think he wanted to come over later. As the show is only in a few hours and I don’t know, he mentioned something like that last night.”, she provides. Philip rubs his neck, trying to decide what to do now.

“Thanks. Uhm, I’ll-“, he has no idea, what he wants to say to her.

“You’re going over to him. Okay, see you later.”, Anne supplies and Philip swears he sees something like a knowing glow in her eyes. He shakes the thought off and does what she said.

What would she know? There is nothing to know. He simply wants to...see Phineas?

He arrives at the spacious house, passes the beautiful garden and ignores the roses near the windows. Without further thought, he knocks on the light double doors. Steps resonate from inside and it only takes half a minute until no other than P.T. opens the door with a grin. It only grows bigger when he sees Philip.

“Hey! What are you doing here so early? Come in.”, he greets Philip and gestures for him to come inside. Philip smiles and complies.

“I thought I could pay you a visit. No real reason.”, he answers.

“That’s reason enough. Do you want breakfast?”

“No thanks, but maybe a tea? Also, I want to apologize that I didn’t come around yesterday. I was so tired I didn’t even think about it last night.”

P.T. considers the apology for a second, making Philip tap his foot nervously.

“No problem, I already assumed something like that.”, he eventually says. Philip smiles gratefully and they proceed to the kitchen, to get some breakfast for P.T. and the tea for Philip.

They find themselves sitting with their gathered foods and drinks on the large sofas. Well, on one of them. After P.T. came back from tour and lost the big house, he moved into something smaller but still generous. Philip likes this house better, it is closer than the old one and it has warmer vibes. Philip avoids thinking about what happened when P.T. came back. In his mind he always refers to ‘back from tour’ and then there’s now. Not the fire. Not the fire.

When he sees the tall man nibble on a sandwich, he wants to see warmth, not ash. He wants to see fun, not fear. He wants to hear laugh, not screams.

Only when P.T. clears his throat and looks at him concerned, Philip notices how absent he’s been. He let his thoughts carry him away.

“You okay?”, the show man asks quietly.

“Yeah, yeah.”, Philip mumbles and shuffles on his seat, sinking deeper into the cushion but also closer to P.T. Entirely coincidental of course.

“Sure?”

“Yes, sure. Maybe.”

P.T. laughs at that and it makes Philip roll his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about his troubled mind and rather enjoy the ringmasters company. Seems like he has to do the talking first. He draws one leg up and taps a fast beat on his ankle.

“Come on, Lip, do I have to draw every word out of you?” The nickname sends a shiver down Philip’s spine. He stops his tapping and rests his hands on his propped up leg.

“No, sorry. I have this irrational fear of – err...losing you. After the, you know.” The fire. Just say it.

“I feel the need to look out for you? I mean, _you_ saved _me, but still._ It could’ve killed you.”

“Oh, dear. Don’t worry, we’re safe now.”, P.T. replies and sets his breakfast aside so he can turn around and face the younger man. When Philip avoids his gaze and starts a beat on his ankle again, the show man takes the nervous hands in his.

“You are safe and so am I. Is there a way that’d reassure you?”, he asks.

Philip bites his lip, some images immediately popping up in his mind. He shakes his head, he couldn’t voice them. But when he feels Phineas’ gentle hands around his and meets the brown eyes, he sighs in defeat.

“This is good.”, Philip says softly. He looks down on their hands. He doesn’t want to bother Phineas and dear God, he is not good at opening up. To talk about feelings was off-limits where he grew up. Phineas shifts and Philip fears, he dared too much, made it weird, fucked it up, their _friendship_.

But Phineas only veers more and carefully interlaces his long fingers with Philip’s trembling ones. It’s slow enough for Philip to draw back, change the topic, laugh it off.

“You know, I’m here for you. And we can look out for each other, yeah?”

“Hm.”

“Lip.”

Philip grimaces and tears his gaze from their hands. He wants to savour every moment and not think about the issue he addressed before. Piercing, icy eyes melt to a clouded ocean when Phineas’ eyes meet his. Philip loves these eyes, that sparkle with mischief and brilliance, but carry so much kindness and genuine happiness at the same time. It’s hard to face when he always felt trapped.

“Yeah?”, he whispers.

“It’s okay to be afraid. Just come to me, like you did today, we’ll get through this.”

“Okay. Thank you.”, he manages to whisper. Now that he looks at the ringmaster, he can’t take his eyes off him again. He relishes the sensation of Phineas’ thumb caressing his hands and sighs.

 

3.

“P.T.?”, Philip asks and a somewhat annoyed looking W.D. points to the back of the tent. Philip knows the troupe gets a bit exasperated with his behaviour by now. He doesn’t even put it into whole sentences anymore; the name itself seems to be enough. It’s been four days since Philip has been over to Phineas’ house to spill his worries. It reassured him and in situations he feels uncomfortable in, he now turns to the show man as promptly as possible.

Phineas stands in front of a full body mirror and buttons up his shirt sleeves. The stunning red coat hangs over a chair, the top-hat dangling on the back rest.

“Good evening, darling.”, the show man greets him and averts from the mirror to step closer to the younger man. Philip throws an uneasy look over his shoulder. On a second thought he pulls some drapery loose and hides them from view.

“Don’t call me that.”, he chides, a rosy hue blossoming on his face.

“But why not?”, Phineas grins and pulls Philip closer, one confident hand holding him in place, the other following the blush on Philip’s cheeks. The contact makes Philip shudder. He is way too sensitive to those touches.

“ _Because_ this is work. Business. I think no one knows and I-“, Philip stops. He furrows his brows, unsure how to complete his sentence. He is not exactly afraid about anyone of the troupe finding out about Phineas and him. But it’s against anything Philip’s ever learned and although he tries, old habits are hard to get rid of.

“You underestimate them, I think.”, Phineas grins and his confidence worries Philip. Of course the troupe is clever, all of them are observant and good judges of character. Regardless, Philip preferred to think he was – and is – very subtle. Not a lot of touching at the circus, banter without real flirting, all friendly. Nice. There were only rare occasions it didn’t work out as professional as Philip would have liked it to. Especially with Phineas enjoying every time Philip nearly despairs with embarrassment as soon as they get home. Home being Phineas’ house, most of the time.

“Do I have to remind you of, oh when was it, _yesterday_?”, the ringmaster teases and tugs at Philip’s suspenders. The shorter man slaps his hand away.

“No, please don’t.”, Philip mutters and rolls his eyes. Yesterday when they rehearsed, Philip wasn’t as nonchalant as he was now. They practiced one of their fire acts. Philip, paying more attention to the enchanting ringmaster than his surroundings, got too close to the burning rings and the heat on his face and smoky smell had him shocked into rigor. Followed by a flashback to the fire, which caused Philip to shake heavily. He doesn’t remember the details, but the singing stopped and suddenly P.T. was there. Philip held onto him as if his life depended on it. It did, back then. He hasn’t left the man’s side that day. Some discreet hand holding and a kiss to his temple may have been involved.

“I’ve got you. You are safe.”, Phineas murmurs the same words, he said yesterday. It pulls Philip out of his memories and plants a bashful smile on his lips. He shrugs, implying it wasn’t his intention to get carried away. Phineas smirks and tugs at his suspenders once again. Then he leans down, their noses touching.

“I want to ensure you all the time. I am here for you and everyone knows it, Philip. Let me show it.”, the tall man speaks up. It has Philip wondering, whether he is discontent with their relationship.

“Phin, you know I’m not one for...ehh, public displays of...affection.”

“Hah.” The exclamation, followed by a quiet chuckle, leaves Philip irritated. He regards the show man with a pout and removes his hands from the warm body. With Phineas arms still around him it doesn’t change much. Philip finds he doesn’t mind.

“You are the clingiest person I have ever met. And it’s lovely, but you need to let me react to it. How am I supposed to live when you always sneak up on me but want to ‘not tell anyone’?”

“Oh. No, come on. I’m not _clingy_.”

“Yes you are.”, Phineas nuzzles his cheek and when Philip doesn’t complain, drops a kiss on his lips.

“And I-“, he kisses his left cheek.

“Love-“, now the right cheek. Philip gasps when the show man lets his hands roam lower down his body at the same time.

“It.”, he finishes with another kiss to his lips. Philip grins into it and lets his hands wander over the older man now too. There is no use in pretence, he could never stay away from him. The feeling of being wanted and held so close might also add to his next words.

“Okay.”, he agrees with a laugh, once he caught his breath. He smoothes Phineas’ shirt out and takes a step back. The ringmaster shoots him an adoring gaze, which warms Philip’s heart.

Phineas finishes his dressing up. Philip simply watches, hands in his pants pockets to keep a secure posture. It lasts until Phineas brushes off some sand from the tailcoats sleeves. Philip snatches the top-hat and wraps his arms around the tall man’s neck. He has to rise to his tip toes to meet him eye to eye. It’s worth it.

With a soft smile he places the hat on Phineas’ head. Afterwards he presses a light kiss to the man’s jaw. With a content sigh he drops his head, leaning against Phineas. Face buried in his neck, he takes in the unique scent and familiar feeling of the coats edge, he puts his chin on when he snuggles closer.

Phineas wraps an arm around the younger man’s waist and grins.

“Well then, off we go.”, he announces. Philip whines in response, not letting go.

“Come on, it’ll be fine.”

“I know. I know.”, Philip answers and reluctantly pulls back. As a reward, Phineas fondles the back of his head, threading his hand through the short hair and scratching over Philip’s nape. Philip nearly whines again, but bites his tongue. With a determined nod, he pulls the drapery back. No one stares at them. No one eavesdropped. Philip feels surreal.

It lasts, until Phineas links their hands together and shows him a loving smile. Philip rolls his eyes once again, not able to keep a smile of his own contained. Together, they step out of the secluded area.

“Took you long enough!”, someone shouted and makes Philip freeze. Phineas chuckles and starts talking. Philip is unable to really pay attention. He catches himself grinning like an idiot. And when they put on the fire acts this night, Phineas is there to hold him, to whisper soft words, to dance with him with such energy that Philip forgets the ash, the fear, the screams.


End file.
